From darkness to light (2)

hanging light bulb
Photo by Burak Kebapci on

Take heed that no-one deceives you.

Matthew 24, 4.

A further step in the morass for me was how to become a dropout from our mad society with its compulsions. Suicide? No! Drugs! 

They provided a temporary escape. But they led to addiction and bondage for the soul. You realize at the latest after the first horror trip with its panic of persecution that there are powers at work that are after you. The real world and my relationship to my family had long since lost their significance. Getting turned on and letting oneself go – that was my motto! So step by step I plunged further and further into the morass.

Afterwards I sought something finer. When we had learnt from experience that drugs ruin you, we looked for other ways for the excitement of being  “high”. An Indian guru advised us to start meditating to get inner peace and experience profound happiness. But when we heard that through meditation we could attain to harmony with God and be at one with the universe, we were back on the religious line. And in that way I could certainly not get to know God.

Do you think that the God of love was just not interested in me? He had warned me often enough: Watch where you are going! Must you first start sinking like Peter? God really was interested in me. Looking back, I could describe many situations in which He spoke to me personally.