From darkness to light (3)

cross silhouette during golden hour
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The god of this age (Satan) has blinded (those) who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ … should shine on them.

2 Corinthians 4, 4.

On one occasion it became clear to me that God would not allow me to sink in the morass. I intended devoting my life to meditation. I would fly to India to learn that at the feet of a guru.

Before departing I just wanted to say goodbye to life in the drug scene in an infamous discotheque in Frankfurt. My attention was taken by an elderly woman in the midst of drug-addicted people. She crossed the dance floor, fell over and just lay there. When no-one troubled about the woman, I ran across and was about to help her.

What then happened I had not expected. I was looking into a radiant face and heard her express two meaningful sentences:  “Look what I have in my hand.” It was a wooden crucifix, a portrayal of the crucified Jesus. Then she said, “God wants you!” I ran out of the disco as if I had been struck by lightning,

I knew very well that God sought me, and inside me I felt that He wanted to keep me from sinking further into filthy ways. But I still didn’t want to yield.

That was one of the many particular events in my life that I understood to be an ultimate indication from God. Every time I said no to God meant a further step down into the mire, and God’s adversary was tightening invisible ropes more firmly around me.